By Tenali Rama
In a development that has rocked the cricket world, Indian captain Virat Kohli and Test wicketkeeper Rishabh Pant have been found guilty of spot-fixing. In an incriminating video that has surfaced, Kohli and Pant are seen discussing spots rather cheek-ily and how to fix them in the IPL (the short form for the Indian Pimples League).
“The fixer has been identified as Himalaya,” a spokesperson of the ICC told Tenali Rama.
The revelation has brought shame to Delhi cricket as both Kohli and Pant hail from the city. Chief minister Arvind Kejriwal has slammed the duo and said the people of Delhi should give a befitting reply by rejecting another Delhi cricketer Gautam Gambhir who is the BJP candidate from East Delhi.
Kohli and Pant have however, received support from unexpected quarters, Congress president Rahul Gandhi.
“Himalaya is a good place. I was in Mansarovar a couple of years ago. Lot of good spots. I would strongly recommend that everyone should fix their spots with Himalaya just like Kohli and Pant have,” Gandhi tweeted.
Realising that the IPL has become the talking point in election season, actor Akshay Kumar’s dates were urgently asked for by a news agency in order to quickly record a question with Prime Minister Narendra Modi.
“Last time, my driver’s daughter asked the question about the mangoes. This time, my driver’s son wanted me to ask you, Prime Minister Sir, ki aapko kabhi bachpan me pimple huwe hai kya?”
Akshay guffawed and the PM laughed and replied, “Main bachpan se hi bahut garib tha. Yeh pimple jaisi cheeze Naamdaro ko hoti hai, Kaamdaro ko nahi.”
(This is a work of satire)