By Tenali Rama (Follow @Iamtenalirama)
The Government of India has decided to disband the GDP as an indicator to measure the health of the economy. Leading economist Kavi Shankar Prasad, who is also a senior minister at the Centre, has devised the BDP that expands to Bollywood Domestic Product, as the new key to India’s prosperity.
“We junked the GDP because it painted a very dismal picture of India’s economy which was not accurate. We have found that our consumption of films is the apt indicator of our economy,” said Prasad.
According to a Government of India press release, apart from the fact that three movies – War, Joker and Sye Raa Narasimha Reddy – netted Rs 120 crore on a single day on 2 October, sale of popcorn at theatres across the country has registered a 70 per cent increase in the last month.
“Many anti-nationals raised a hue and cry that sale of Parle-G biscuits had gone down. This data shows that people now prefer to consume popcorn. It reflects the changing tastes of the millennials,” said Prasad.
Collections from parking fee at cinema theatres too has registered a healthy 38 per cent increase.
“Where are those people who say auto sector is slowing down? People are driving their vehicles which is why our revenue from parking charges is increasing. In order to thank all those citizens who pay their parking charges honestly, we have decided to conduct a Swachh Parking Area Abhiyaan after Diwali. Our MP Hema Malini who has been a leading star in Bollywood will lead the clean-up effort,” said Prasad.
In order to further demolish the slowdown in auto sector argument, Prasad had collated data from vegetable markets in major cities across the country.
“Do you know the sale of lemon and chillies that we use to do puja when we buy a new vehicle has gone up by an impressive 56 per cent. What more proof do you need that people are buying new vehicles? When life gives you lemons, you use them to wish well for your new vehicle, not to make lemonade,” said Prasad.
At a separate briefing, this time at the party headquarters, Prasad has demanded the resignation of all those Indians who do not contribute to the country’s prosperity by watching movies in theatres.
(This is a work of Satire)
Categories: Tenali Rama