Tenali Rama

Satire : Insurance companies tweak eligibility rules after Hyderabad rains

By Tenali Rama (Follow @IamTenaliRama)

In the light of several areas in Hyderabad getting inundated after heavy rain leading to mishaps and even death in a few cases, insurance companies have tweaked the rules. They will now refuse compensation to families to those people who do not follow the new rules.

Tenali Rama has accessed the new rules that have been drafted. According to the new rules : 

(a) Pedestrians or motorists using the flooded road will not be paid compensation if they fall into an open drain or manhole. This will be construed as deviation from the known route to their destination. 

(b) No compensation will be paid to pedestrians who use the pavement and sustain an injury by falling into a broken part or getting electrocuted by a naked electric wire. Walking on a footpath in Hyderabad is subject to encroachment risks. Read the conditions carefully before stepping on to a pavement. 

(c) Pedestrians are advised against taking shelter under the Hyderabad Metro Rail station premises and getting hit by pieces of construction falling. They will not be paid compensation in the event of a mishap as the insurance company does not compensate those who get stoned.

(d) Pedestrians standing by a wall that then falls on them will not be paid compensation. Insurance company has stopped its CSR activity of Cementing Relationships.

(e) If any pedestrian is crushed under a tree or if his/her vehicle is damaged, no compensation will be paid. How dare you ask nature for compensation? Contact Greta Thunberg for more details. 

(e) If any pedestrian or motorist is hurt by the fall of a banner or a hoarding, no compensation will be paid. Contact AIADMK councillor Jayagopal in Chennai for advice. 

(f) A biker who meets with an accident in the rain will not be paid compensation unless it is proven with video evidence that he/she was wearing a helmet and his/her bike had a pollution certificate. Contact Nitin Gadkari for details. 

(g) In the event of rain, if any one decides to use a boat for transport through the water and it topples resulting in death or injury, no compensation will be paid. The vehicle is not recognised as a suitable mode of transport on Hyderabad’s roads.

(h) Pedestrians have to produce certificates of prowess in swimming failing which travelling on Hyderabad roads during the monsoon will be deemed to be an attempt at suicide. Citizens are advised to put the flood water inside their homes to good use this monsoon season.

(This is a work of satire)

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