Tenali Rama

Satire : Subasri death accused tells Chennai police – Replace bathroom tiles

By Tenali Rama @Iamtenalirama

While it seems that pressure is mounting on the Chennai police to trace Jayagopal, the AIADMK councillor who had put up the illegal banners to celebrate his son’s wedding that eventually killed young techie Subasri in a road accident, the truth is something else. 

Tenali Rama has learnt that Jayagopal has told the Chennai Police that he will surrender on condition that they immediately replace the bathroom tiles at their police stations.

“I have heard that the bathrooms in Chennai police stations are very slippery. I do not wish to fall down and end up with a fracture. I will surrender after you inform me they have been replaced,” said Jayagopal in a written submission to the police commissioner. In the recent past, several small-time thieves have ended up with identical looking fractures and every time the reason given was that they slipped in the bathroom. 

Senior officers of the Chennai police are believed to have had a good laugh over the request. Meanwhile, the investigation team has arrested the shopkeeper who sold the rope that was used to tie the banner to the road divider. 

“Its tensile strength was very less that is why it broke. If he had supplied a better quality rope, this case would not have existed,” said a senior official. 
The shopkeeper has now replaced Jayagopal as the prime accused in the case. He has also been charged with not checking with IIT Madras the wind velocity on the road where the unfortunate incident took place.

“The wind velocity on that stretch is rather high is what a preliminary probe has established. The shopkeeper should have calculated that before selling the rope. He is accused of criminal negligence,” said an officer of the probe team. 

The AIADMK government headed by Edappadi Palaniswami has decided to be proactive about preventing such accidents in the future. It has signed an MoU with a company in `Los Angels’ in the USA. It will transfer technology to the Greater Chennai Municipal Corporation that will enable it to alert motorists, riders and pedestrians about illegal banners that have been erected on a 2 km stretch ahead. 

(This is a work of satire)

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