Tenali Rama

Politicians at the crease in Karnataka

By Tenali Rama

The BJP is not leaving anything to chance in Karnataka. Aware that the pitch curated by Karnataka Assembly Speaker is likely to be treacherous and make batting a challenge, the BJP is making its captain BS Yeddyurappa test his ability to play the swinging deliveries. At the resort where the BJP legislators have been housed, the former chief minister was found practising with as many as five fielders placed in the slip cordon. 

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“We are focusing on the powerplay. That’s when maximum fielders are in the ring, in close-in catching positions. Our catching has certainly improved. As you would have noticed, we have caught 15 Congress and JD(S) MLAs in the last ten days,” a BJP leader told Tenali Rama

One reason the BJP is working on its game is because it knows that Siddaramaiah of the Congress is an avid cricket watcher, especially the IPL. The apprehension is that he may convince some of the players who have moved to Mumbai Indians by promising them a place in the RCB playing XI. The players could even be offered more than their base price. DK Shivakumar, the designated crisis manager of RCB had been sent to the team hotel in Mumbai but the players refused to meet him. 

“We are aware of what Siddaramaiah can do but we are not worried if he is learning strategies from RCB. You know how poorly they fare in the IPL,” a BJP leader chuckled.

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The JD(S) has pointed out that even Deve Gowda loves the game of cricket and said their leader remains fit thanks to regular yoga. 

“Gowda faced bouncers and beamers from bowlers in the 1990s without a helmet,” said a JD(S) leader. The party has however, denied reports that the former PM’s “phoenix from the ashes” comment in the Lok Sabha was inspired by the Ashes rivalry between England and Australia. 

In light of the bizarre boundary rule that decided the World Cup in favour of England at Lord’s, both sides are preparing for a possible tie. The BJP is confident it has the upper hand as the rebel MLAs have crossed the boundary more number of times. They moved from Karnataka into Mumbai and back more than once. Another possibility is that the match could be decided on the basis of which side has more suitcases.

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With such high stakes, Thursday promises to be the mother of all trust votes. One that could make India lose its trust in its elected representatives for ever. 

(The story is a work of satire)

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